Their Little Puppet
by Emily the Walrus
Summary: Harley Quinn has a problem. A problem caused by one special night. . . How will the Joker react to Harley being pregnant? And how will their child's life be? With all of the enemies the two criminals made. . .it might not be too funny.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I have had this idea for a while. I guess now is the time to use it. I own nothing except for the plot and some characters. Trust me, I wish I owned the Batman series. (I also wish I was Harley Quinn but) I hope you enjoy. I will warn you- I could not decide between the animated Joker and Heath Ledger's version because I love them so much. It's more of a mix, so in this he has the scars and makeup can be removed. I put it in this category because of my indecisive nature. Just feel free to imagine the Joker as you wish!**

* * *

Harley Quinn had a problem, and not one of her normal problems either. It was not her love for The Joker, whom she usual fought side by side with. It was not the abusive relationship that seemed to become of the love. It was not even the fact that she was in Arkham Asylum as a patient, no longer a psychiatrist. No, it was way bigger than any of those.

Ever since she fell in love with The Joker, her former patient, Dr. Harleen Quinzel became Harley Quinn. Even with her now insane personality, Harley had a soft side. But she also had a side of need. The need for the man she called Mistah J to love her back.

It seemed like it would never happen. He always refused her, no matter how hard she tried. She loved him enough to blame herself when he got mad, but still craved for a sweeter side in him. She knew there had to be a little bit of it behind the scars and face paint. Yet it was always blocked by his need for chaos.

But one night, after breaking out of the asylum for the umpteenth time, he gave into her needs. Harley never felt more ecstatic, though surprise even mixed with her feelings. There was a fear in her to bring it up to him again. Joker never said a word about it- even when they were both caught and put back in Arkham again.

Yet, for Harley, it was beginning to flow back to her memories. Something about that night created something new. After being awoken a few weeks later, Harley began to felt sick, vomiting right on the floor. The guard looked disgusted, shaking his head.

"Musta been the food," she laughed sheepishly, though she was not absolutely sure what was actually happening. She told herself it was nothing- until it began happening for almost every morning. To her, it definitely could not be the food. There was only one other thing it could be. . .but she was not about to ask the guards for the thing she needed. She would just wait until they were out again. Thankfully for her, that indeed happened soon enough.

As soon as she could she went to a drugstore, or more or less, broke in to a drugstore. Scanning the shelves, she saw several different brands of that certain thing, grabbing them all. When back at the toy factory, she slipped right in as quietly as possibly, trying to keep from a scene.

"I must be outta my mind," Harley whispered to herself, studying the packages. They lay there in the bathroom, taunting her. "Peein' on a stupid stick? Like it will even work." Even so, she went through with each one of them.

Her heart pumped fast, hoping her puddin' wouldn't be looking for her. When time was up, she looked at the first pregnancy test. She sucked in her breath. It was positive.

"Well. . that's only one of 'em.. ." But each one read the same answer. Positive, positive, positive. Harley Quinn was indeed pregnant. Pregnant from that one special night. She wanted to be excited, but she knew that. . that he would be so angry.

Nerves shot, she did one of the few things she could do. She called Poison Ivy, her best friend. Looking at her not yet showing belly, she wondered what she was going to do.

"Hello?" Ivy's voice asked, seeming curious at who would be calling her. Her reputation wasn't amazing.

"Red? It's me, Harley." The blue eyed clown girl whispered her words, staring at the door. The words kept running through her head. _A baby, a little family for you and Puddin'._

 _"_ What is it? Something between you and him?" Ivy rolled her eyes slightly. She tried helping Harley out before, but she went right back to the Clown Prince. She knew even after a thousand times there'd be no breakthrough.

Harley sighed, sounding sad. "No. . kinda. . .it's really important, Red. Can I come over?"

Ivy ended up agreeing, though she had no idea what she was in for. After hanging up, Harley walked out of the bathroom, forgetting the stray pregnancy tests on the ground. She snuck out as quick as possible, thankful to avoid Mister J at all costs. Words she had never used in her life.

.

"HARLEY?"

Joker walked from upstairs, where he had went over some plans. Curious at why his female counterpart had not been up there trying to seduce him like always, he decided to look for her. It was unusual for her to go astray. She was like a lost puppy.

"HARLEY?" he yelled out again. Looking around, he mumbled "Where could that woman be?" Checking outside, he saw the hyenas. "No blood, so I guess they didn't eat her." He went back inside.

He would not admit it, but he felt slightly worried. Not worried enough to get others to look for her though. He looked in every room possible, wondering if she was trying to play some joke on him. As he approached the bathroom, he saw a light on.

"Didn't you hear me the first time, you min-" he stopped, seeing she was not in there. "What the-" He looked at the ground, picking up the stick objects. All had plus signs or the word positive. Confused, he picked up the boxes. _Dr. Winns Pregnancy Test, EDT Pregnancy. . ._ The words astonished him for a second. Soon his dark eyes narrowed, opening his scarred mouth to speak "HARLEY IS WHAT?" Standing up, he had a good feeling of where she was.

Harley's problem was about to get ten times worse.

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 **What will happen next? Will Joker find her? How will Ivy react? What will "Puddin'" think? Stayed tuned for the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I'm really glad to see some of you like this story! This chapter will have more dialogue and more depth. Of course, Joker is still an asshole for the most part, but can you really expect him as so sweet and supportive? Nah, me either. Also, I hate how newer versions of Harley are very slutty and sleeping with everyone. I don't think she would, per say, because they aren't her puddin'.**

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"You seriously must be kidding, Harley."

Ivy stood in front of her best friend in shock. Harley had just told her the news of being pregnant. Not only did the redhead find it ridiculous, she also was trying not to gag at the fact that the Joker was the father. So there she stood, hand on hip with an eyebrow raised.

Harley shook her head, looking down a little bit. "I took about four of those tests. . .all came out as positive as I am crazy."

With a sympathetic sigh, Ivy sat down next to her. "Are you actually planning on staying there with him? Do you actually think he'll _want_ a child?" Even an idiot could see that there would be no safety for that kid. Harley was really smart, but. . .

"I-I'm. . sure he'll lighten up to the idea after a while," the blonde tried, giving a weak smile. "Mistah J might actually be really happy."

"What about your precious hyenas? Will they be nice to a child?" Though they were loving to Harley, they were still vicious creatures.

Harley nodded. "The babies will be so sweet to their new brother or sister. They're sweethearts all of the time. I gave 'em a doll before. I mean, Bud. . .he ripped it's head off, but that's only a doll!" She flashed a grin, even though she still felt nervous.

Ivy knew that Harley would not give in. The easiest thing she could say was "If you're sure. . but you know I'm always here to help out. I really don't trust that psychotic clown with a baby." Her guess was that if it started crying, he would throw it out of the window.

"Thanks, Red. I really appreciate it. I just don't know how I'm gonna feel about gettin' fat." She looked at her stomach which, of course, was flat as usual. In a short nine months, it'd be different.

"You'll be fine. Just-" Ivy was cut off by the sound of her door being ripped open. Standing there was the clown prince himself. He did not look very happy at all.

"Heya, Puddin'. How'd ya. . .find me," Harley laughed nervously, standing up. Her grin dropped as soon as he held up a bag of her pregnancy tests.

"Harley, is this one of your jokes? Because, let me tell you, _it's not funny."_ He threw them on the ground in frustration, causing Ivy to stand up in defense of Harley.

The harlequin whimpered, looking at him with wide eyes. "No. . .no, Puddin'. It's. . .I, uh. . . they're actually. . .true. But. . . haha. . . here's the kicker. . . You're the daddy." He was the only one it could have been. She was no whore.

She almost jumped back in fear. The look on his face was one of anger. It usually ended with her getting a bruise or a busted lip. But he did not hit her. He screamed instead. _"WHAT?"_

"Listen, clown. Either you let her keep her baby, or she's going to have to leave you," Ivy spoke up, narrowing her eyes.

The Joker looked back at Harley with vicious eyes. "Is this true, _Harleen?_ You'd leave working with me over a silly baby?" That just screamed ridiculous to him. Harley pretty much worshipped the ground he laid bombs on.

Harley looked at Ivy like she was crazy, before shaking her head. "Of course not, Mistah J!" _Stand up for yourself, Harley._ "But. . .but I don't wanna give up my baby."

The Joker frowned at her. "What the hell would we do with a baby? Just take it around in a stroller while we rob banks? I don't think so." He could have slapped himself for saying that. He knew Harley would actually do that now that he gave her the idea.

She almost grinned in excitement, but looked ashamed. Ivy spoke instead. "I will be able to care for the child, whether you like that idea or not."

"I don't."

"Then Harley will just have to stay at home with the baby while you go out alone." Ivy smirked at him, waiting for his retort.

The Joker stood frozen. He was not going to let Harley stay home. In a way. . .he may need her, not that he'd say it. "She'll have to do that for nine months anyways."

"I could still go with ya. No one will hit a pregnant lady. . ." Harley smiled shyly.

"Pregnancy never stopped me," he mumbled, knowing he had probably harmed at least five pregnant women before.

"Well none of your enemies are as psychotic as you. Besides, maybe it's a sign to calm down on your stupid crimes," Ivy sassed. She liked crimes too, but she wanted to break the man.

"I will never stop with my crimes! I'd feed myself to the hyenas before I did that!" He looked back at Harley sharply. "Are you sure you want this thing? I could get you another pet or something."

Harley nodded with bravery. "I. . I really do, Puddin'. But it's not a thing or a toy. It's a baby. We'll have a little family. Someone to pass on your name for generations. . ." In her head, she daydreamed about a little child running around causing pranks and mischief. It was so cute to her.

The green haired man rolled his eyes. _"Fine._ I don't care if you have to stay home either! Just don't expect much responsibility from me." Though in his mind, the fact of a namesake sounded wonderful. If it was a boy of course. _A girl wouldn't be bad ei- shut up._

Harley hugged him tightly with a squeal. "Oh, Mistah J, we're gonna be parents! Aren't you excited?"

He glared at her, but caught the frown on Ivy's face. "Overjoyed," he said dryly. He patted her stomach. "Way to go, champ." He hugged her back barely half heartedly. But to himself, and to himself only, he smiled only a little.

He knew these nine months were not going to be fun at all, but at least he'd get a gain from it.

 _Harley not always bugging him._

Which was, well, definitely wrong.

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 **Chapter 2 is now done c: Don't worry, things will get more interesting after the baby is born and grows a little. I hoped you liked!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so glad you guys seem to like this story! I was really nervous about it! I promise things will go better as the story continues. Sometimes, you gotta cover the basics. I also enjoy your opinions on how Joker will be as a dad. I'm surprised that you guys can see him being a good one, but we'll wait and see! Enjoy x**

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"Puddin'? Can you please come here?"

That's how many of Harley's sentences started anymore. It had been almost eight months since they found out the news they'd be parents, and the Joker was surprised he lasted this long. Harley complained and cried more than ever, her mood changed, and she also needed him. If he really wanted to, he'd kill her, but he always stopped himself. Especially because Ivy still watched to see how awful he'd be as a dad.

The worst part of all of it was that he didn't commit as much chaos as usual. He was almost always forced to stay with Harley. On some occasions he'd leave the hyenas to care for her. He needed to do what he did best, of course!

Those days, he'd come back with Harley standing there. Her arms crossed over her now growing stomach (though not too much.) She'd narrow her blue eyes and sneer.

"How dare you?! You can't get your psychotic little butt thrown back in Arkham! I ain't gonna even try to break ya out!" She'd continue to scream and complain for another two hours, to which he'd yell back. It would end when she'd cry about how sorry she was. It was pretty normal now.

So was her whines of "Puddin'" and "Mistah J."

This time she called for him, Joker was about out and about. He turned, slow with bottled up anger. He grinned with clenched teeth as he looked at her.

"What do you need, _Pumpkin Pie?"_ he asked, trying not to throw her out the window.

She looked up at him innocently from the couch she lay upon. "I need cuddles, Puddin'."

This was definitely not the first time she complained about cuddles, but it proved more irritating every time. It almost caused the clown to cry with tears of frustration. But, of course, he would never cry. That was just plain stupid.

One of his green eyes twitched. "Of _course,_ Harley." _Only two more months._ Well, somewhere around that. They didn't go to a hospital to find out, they couldn't anyways. They both pretty much figured what day it was around.

He walked over and sat with her, to which she snuggled herself under his arm. He knew for a fact that he'd leave whenever she fell asleep. He knew there was only one good thing out of all of this nonsense- the baby. . possibly.

The Joker stroked Harley's blonde hair as gently as he could. He really did not want to be in this situation.

"Do you think we'll have a boy or girl?" she asked with a smile.

He looked at her belly. He really didn't care. "Boy," he replied, knowing the child would then be his heir. A girl would be another Harley anyways.

Harley looked thoughtful. "I was thinking of it bein' a girl. Oh well, I guess we'll see when that day comes, huh, Mistah J?"

"Mhmm," he mumbled, bored out of his already insane mind. _Shut up._

"You'll be so cute as a daddy, Puddin'," she continued. "The best possible daddy ever."

He snorted. "I think you forget what I'm capable of, my dear." Even if Harley thought of him as perfect, the Joker knew what he actually was. He was a monster, not that he totally minded. It was all true.

Harley's eyes began to droop. "Mistah J?"

"What?" he groaned in reply.

"I love you. The baby will love you too."

The clown wanted to cackle. Love. How stupid it was to him. He knew what it was, he could actually feel it, but someone loving him was stupid. Harley was a genius, but she was stupid. He knew the kid would probably hate him as they grew.

He looked at the blonde, knowing she meant well. He did care for her, there was no doubt in that. If he didn't, she would not even be alive. Something about her stopped him from shooting her repeatedly.

"You too, tiger." He was not going to say he loved her because he didn't think he actually did. He'd just agree.

By this time, she was already asleep. So, as agile as possible, he slipped from her grip and was right out the door. Hey, he couldn't be too sentimental.

.

"It was so wonderful to meet you all tonight. I would have loved to be friends, but I already gave it my best shot."

The Joker was in a museum, holding a gun in each hand along with valuable merchandise. He shot at the cowering people as he left with a loud cackle. He probably hit one or two people, but did it really matter?

As he looked back at them with a menacing smile, he felt himself run into something. That something turned out to be his old foe, Batman.

"If you'd excuse me, Batsy, I really must go," he smirked.

The Dark Knight narrowed his eyes. "To Arkham."

"Not a great joke," the green haired man shook his head in disgust. At that moment, Batman hit the guns out of his hands, catching him off guard. It was definitely not the Joker's best fight- he found himself flat on the ground, handcuffs around his wrists.

Within a few minutes, he found himself back in Arkham Asylum. Harley was going to kill him.

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 **Oh, Mistah J. You should have done better!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys! It's time to update again! I hope you enjoy. I was pretty deep in writers block for the time being, but I think I did okay! (: I tried to keep them in character as much as possible. See you at the end of the chapter!**

"Come on, Batsy. I didn't cause that much trouble!" The Joker whined sarcastically to his foe, as he pressed against the glass in his Arkham cell.

The Dark Knight glared at him. "You shot at innocent people and robbed a museum."

The clown shrugged. "I've done worse. Now, come on! I need to get back to Har-" He stopped himself. He was not making another mistake with the baby carrying loon and the red headed plant.

Batman stared at him in a certain disbelief. "That's a first. You never want to deal with your precious Quinn."

 _She's not usually pregnant and angry._ He kept it to himself, knowing that he was digging himself a grave. Instead he gave a smirk.

"Like I'd even tell you my personal life. Perhaps on a rainy day. Just let me out like the good idiot you are." He loved making him angry. It was hilarious.

Batman shook his head and began to walk away into the shadows. Shaking his head, he only had one thought.

 _It isn't like she's pregnant or anything._

.

The Joker was surprised that Harley kept her word. She in fact did not come for him. Even if it was a risky thing, she'd normally devote herself to him.

It had been a day before he heard anything of her. One of the doctors walked over to his cell.

"Someone is on the phone for you. You get ten minutes." It was Dr. Leeland. The one that he first saw with Harley.

Smirking, he followed her in his handcuffs rather obediently. He had a good idea of who it was

Grabbing the phone, he spoke a cool "Hello, H-"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU STUPID, PSYCHOTIC CLOWN! I TOLD YOU NO MORE. YOU GOT YOURSELF LOCKED UP!" Indeed, it was Harley. A very, very angry Harley. He had never heard her scream so loud.

Holding the phone away a few inches, he tried calming her. "Now, now. Listen."

"WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! NOT JAILED UP WHEN I HAD THE BABY!"

The clown rolled his eyes. "Then why don't you come here AND GET ME?"

"I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T! IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

It was surprising. Nothing was ever his fault in her eyes. This hormones thing was getting confusing to him.

He sighed loudly. "Just wait, you screaming banshee! I'll be there before you know it." It seemed to be a false promise. He was starting to feel glad that he was in the asylum.

"YOU- you think so?" Her voice was back to it's sweet nature. She sounded more excited than anything.

"Of course, pooh. Would I lie to you?" he purred to her, smirking.

He heard a loud squeal. "Oh, Puddin'! We both will be waiting!" Her voice suddenly lowered. " But trust me I will rip those scars back open with my bare hands if you lie." She sounded demonic. Before Joker could answer, he heard a click of the phone.

He slammed his own back down as he stood up. "Why a baby? Why not something nicer, like a tiger?" He walked out to Dr. Leeland, whom made sure he got back to his cell. She was suspicious, but said nothing.

.

Not feeling like going back yet, he decided to spend a night or two in Arkham. . .which turned into almost two weeks. Harley'd be fine for a few more days. She'd yell, but calm down quickly.

When night came one day, he looked at the ceiling, playing with a yo yo. It was quiet all around until a crash was heard.

Thinking he'd see Harley, he sat up with a devious grin. Greenish brown gas poofed through the air before seeing the glass break. A gas mask was thrown at him. It was not Harley standing there, but a certain red head

"Come to get me for yourself, my dear weed?" he bickered, putting the mask on.

Ivy's face was solemn. "Just hurry the hell up. Harley needs you right now."

The Joker narrowed his eyes nastily. "And why get me? I thought she wasn't going to get me?"

"She didn't get you. I did. Stop complaining and hurry."

"What does she need me for? Cuddles?" he laughed, stretching and taking his time walking with her.

Ivy sighed in frustration. "She's going into early labor, you idiot."

 **Oooooo. What will happen next! Stay tuned for more! Xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, guys! It's baby time! Hahahaha, well, it actually is. But what will the baby be? A boy or a girl? What will they name the baby? What will happen with the baby? Stay tuned to learn more and find out!**

 **On a weird note, I'm always laughed at when I ask the gender of a baby. Mostly because I ask "what kind." I'm pretty sure I'm five years old.**

 **I also decided I'd update today merely because I'm wearing my Harley Quinn and Joker shirt. It is so comfy. Okay, I'm going to shut up and let you enjoy the story!**

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The Joker cackled as he hopped into Ivy's car. He did not believe a word she said. The baby wasn't due for another month.

"Tell me the truth. Harley just missed me _soooo_ much that she made you come get me? It's all just a little scheme isn't it?" he asked with a sly smirk. He knew Harley well enough. She'd make up a joke just to be close with him.

The redheaded woman drove fast and glared at him. "It isn't a joke you idiot. She's having the baby. It's called a premature birth." She swerved past a red light. "Harley really needs you for this. Besides, why would I risk my ass for you in any other circumstance?"

The clown pondered it for a few seconds, before the realization hit him. "Good point," he said, though he did not show any type of nerves. It was all on the inside. His heart actually began to race as he told himself how real this actually was. He was actually being a father.

"If it was my choice, I would have left you in there. But she insisted that the precious daddy needed to see the baby when it came." She never took her eyes off of the road. It kept her from punching him in the face.

The Joker scoffed. "Maybe precious daddy didn't want to be there either." It wasn't a full lie. He rather be back at Arkham than see a woman give birth. Yet another part of him was excited about the child.

Ivy stopped the car so abrupt, that Joker almost hit the windshield. She looked at him, green eyes turning dark. "Listen, clown. You're going to go in there and at least act like you care. I knew for a fact that you'd never be a good dad, and you're only making my assumptions clear. What happened to you saying that you would try? Give up already, coward?"

The Joker was not used to this kind of talk. Mostly because he usually killed anyone beforehand. But now, now he knew she was right. (Not that he'd ever say so.) A lot of his thoughts were towards this whole thing, but it just made him feel a weird sensation of sickness.

Rolling his eyes, he spoke to her sarcastically. "Oh, maybe I wasn't prepared for it this early?"

She began driving again. "You would have been if you stayed out of Arkham. You made yourself look too easy to catch. Besides, it's time to grow a pair and be ready for this."

He did not speak to her, just glared. It stayed silent for the next two minutes before they got there. Stopping the car, Ivy covered it with plants again, running inside. The Joker took his time as he followed. He held back a laugh. It was definitely a little hoax to him. His thoughts stayed that way until he heard Harley's screaming and crying. Not the normal kind either.

When he went upstairs to the room she laid in, Harley looked like a wreck. Her blonde hair was matted with tears, makeup staining her cheeks. Next to her, Bud and Lou were curled up, as if to protect her. Ivy rushed right next to her.

"How close is the pain now, Harl?" she asked with full concern.

Harley sniffled in agony. "A-about five or six minutes. . . Pu-puddin'?" She lifted her neck up slightly to see if he was there. Her blue eyes were rimmed pink.

He merely waved. "Hey there, pooh." He was not going to show the panic that laid inside him. He couldn't tell if wanting to vomit was a good thing or a bad thing. He looked at Ivy. "What do I do?"

"Since I don't trust you being the one to deliver the baby, I'll do it. You hold Harley's hand for support."

He walked over to the blonde, holding out his hand in confusion. What did that have to do with support, he didn't know.

She looked up at him, grabbing the pale hand. "I'm so-so happy you're here, Mistah J. Ain't I-it excitin'?"

"Yeah, yeah." He tried to stay as monotone as possible. Emotions were not what he needed at the moment. He wasn't going to do any of that mushy excitement or crying. That would be disgusting of him.

Harley grinned warily, glowing in a way Joker never saw before. Even he knew Harley was pretty, but this glow coming from her seemed even prettier. "Our baby's gonna be the best there is Before he could answer, she screamed in pain again. The contractions seemed to be getting even closer.

The more she screamed, the more she crushed his hand. "Stop it! You're going to put me in need of care!" he yelled at her in frustration, causing the hyenas to growl.

Harley looked at him. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO PUT A BABY IN ME!"

"IT WASN'T MY INTENTION!"

Seeing Harley in pain made him upset, mostly because he was the only one allowed to hurt her. This baby was going to be in trouble with him already.

"You can push anytime that feels right, Harley!" Ivy exclaimed over the cries of the blonde. "The baby should be here soon!"

The Joker, being the curious fool he was, wondered what this whole experience even looked like. He glanced around the corner. His stomach churned. It was even worse than a group of dead people covered in blood. But he did not say anything.

He clenched his teeth as Harley crushed his hand more. "God damn it, Harley," he growled under his breath. Trying to keep his mind off of it, he looked at the bed. He'd have to get new sheets and bedspreads. These were his good ones too!

"I see the head, Harl! Keep going, you got this!" Ivy yelled out.

Harley screamed and pushed, leaving the Joker feel half deaf. Only a few minutes later did they hear a little cry coming in Ivy's direction. Harley's own tears fell with joy. "Oh, Red! Is it a boy or a girl! Oh my God, oh my God. . ."

Ivy grinned at her best friend. "You have a baby girl, Harl. A tiny baby girl." She looked like she had her own tears in her eyes as she looked to the Joker. "Would you like to cut the cord?" Her voice was less harsh with him than before.

He looked confused. "What?" He was still trying to muster the fact that it was a girl and not a boy.

"The umbilical cord. Do you want to cut it?" Finally understanding, he did so. He did not look at the baby though. He did not want to see her.

After Ivy cleaned the little girl off, she handed her to the crying mother. "Oh, Puddin'. She's so beautiful. Look at her. She's so perfect." The baby girl's cries were softening. Bud and Lou sniffed her and instead of attacking, they licked her head.

"I'm so proud of you, Harley. She's going to be gorgeous as she grows up," Ivy smiled, sitting on the bed corner.

Harley began to sob again, looking at Joker. "Wanna hold her, Puddin'?"

He didn't want to say he did, but he couldn't get himself to say no. "I guess so." Taking the baby from Harley, he studied her.

She was definitely cute, anyone could tell. Though most of her seemed to be mommy, she had a tuft of brown hair like her father's original. Her eyes did not fully open, but she seemed to be looking up at him. He felt his heart melt, but tried to make it black at night again. It was just a baby . . nothing special.

But then something amazing happened. A little sound came from the back of the girl's throat. Not a cry nor a cough. It sounded like a tiny giggle. He did nothing at all, but he made his new daughter laugh. It was the most glorious thing that could have happened. He was in a little world, silent to everyone else. He did not know how happy he looked when he smiled at her.

Coming back to reality, he frowned. "Yes. Good job, Harley." He handed the baby back.

"What should we name her, Puddin'?" she whispered softly, looking at their little girl in awe.

He thought about it. She needed a good name Nothing stupid or simple. Something that showed where she came from. It hit him like a brick.

"Marionette," he replied. A puppet for two clowns to care for.

Harley grinned, though Ivy rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "It's beautiful, Mistah J. Marionette Ivy Quinzel. Ivy after her godmother." She looked at the redhead, who beamed.

The Joker wondered if that was it then. They had a baby and they were going to raise her. Completely normal. Odd. He was expecting something strange. He just stared at his daughter, as everyone did. It was just a beautifully weird moment that was ruined by the sound of sirens coming close.

* * *

 **Well, there you go. Little Marionette Ivy Quinzel. so, what do you think will happen? What do you think of the Joker now? What are the sirens? I'll try to update soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, again! I'm really excited about this story. I can't believe that I'm actually remembering to update it. (I forget to do that a lot.) Not much to say in this note. Just hope you're all doing great. Okay bye x**

* * *

Ivy's green eyes widened at the sound of the sirens. There was something telling her that it was coming for them, but she did not want to upset Harley. Panicking would make everything worse. But it seemed like Harley already knew, as well.

Her blue eyes widened in fear. She held little Marionette in her arms protectively, tears rolling from her eyes.. "They can't be comin'. . .they just can't. . ." She just wanted to raise her daughter with her beloved Mistah J. What was going to happen? Where would their baby go if anything happened?

"I'm sure it's nothing, Harl . . " Joker said, wondering if his traps were still set up or not. "I'll go have a look." Standing up, he glanced at Marionette before walking out of the bedroom. The hyenas followed in suit. He wasn't worried about going to Arkham. He was worried about anyone finding out that he was a parent.

Taking one of his guns, he strolled towards the door quietly, but casually. It wasn't like the baby would cry if he shot an officer or anything. Babies liked loud noises, didn't they?

The red and blue lights flashed outside. Joker stood by, smiling as he looked out the window. He just had to wait for the right moment. . .

 _Bam!_

The door was kicked down by the swiftness of the Dark Knight himself. Taken by surprise, the Joker hit the gun over Batman's head , causing it to shoot. The police started to file in, just as Ivy ran down. Plants of the room began to grow at a rapid pace, trying to choke them.

"You could have been courteous and knocked," the clown taunted Batman, hitting him with a mallet. "I could have gotten you a drink before I tried to kill you."

Instead of retaliating a comeback, Batman just kicked Joker across the room, knocking Ivy down with him. Getting back up, the green haired man ran at Batman with all of his might. Throwing him down, he punched at him.

"I expected more from you, Bats," Joker smirked, hitting him hard in the jaw.

Batman hit him back. "Why do you seem so afraid?"

"It's just your face." Guns were shooting at Ivy's plants as the Joker grabbed the knife from his pocket. He held it to his foe. "I'm sure I can help you though."

But very suddenly, things went very quiet. The only noise was a soft cry from upstairs. The Joker's pale face seemed almost paler. _Shit._

Batman took that moment to kick him off, running for the stairs. The free cops followed him, only for the hyenas to growl at them all, standing in front of them. Taking a huge jump over them, Batman almost got to the door, only for the Joker and Ivy to tackle him.

"You've gone insane, Batboy. Hearing things that aren't there," the Joker struggled to cackle. His heart pounded through his chest, almost ripping at his skin.

The Dark Knight dragged himself towards the door, even with the two villains ripping at him. The cops made their way to it first, ripped clothes and all.

Joker squeezed his eyes shut as he heard a collective amount of gasps and Marionette's crying.

Ivy jumped from Batman and past the officers to Harley. Joker did so as well, only because he knew they were caught. When Batman peaked into the door, he mumbled "I don't believe it. . ."

Harley sat holding the bundle that was Marionette in her shaking arms. Both girls were crying as the mother tried to calm the baby down. When she saw the cops, Harley whimpered.

The Joker stared at them, breathing heavily. He felt the cool metal of handcuffs. He sneered as Batman neared Harley.

Crying, Harley shook her head. "No. . .no. You can't do this. Don't you dare take her from me. . ." Reluctance seemed to glimmer on Batman's face, but he still picked up the little girl. A cop, just as reluctant, handcuffed her and Ivy. Letting Batman take care of the weak Harley, the cop took Marionette from him.

Joker felt something in him hurt. He hoped it was just indigestion, but he still found himself speak in a tight voice. "So we're the evil ones? I forgot good men take away children from mothers."

He glared at Batman as he was pushed into the police car.

.

The whole way to Arkham, Harley was sobbing. Over and over again, she whimpered "I. . I want my baby. Give her back. My fault." She blamed herself for telling Ivy to get Joker. She just wanted the daddy there. She feared for the worst now.

As Ivy comforted Harley, the Joker stayed in his thoughts. What he had said about good and evil seemed to be true. Placing a new mom in an asylum just seemed hilarious.

When at the destination, all three were put in a room with Dr. Leeland. Her brown eyes widened when she saw the Dark Knight holding a crying baby. An asylum nurse was quick to check the newborn, torturing Harley by doing so.

"17 inches long. 5 pounds 5 ounces," the nurse told Leeland. Nodding, the doctor looked at the teary Harley, expression softening.

"Premature?" she asked calmly.

Harley nodded with a sniffle. "'Bout a month. She was just born today. She. . she was already named. Her name's Marionette Ivy Quinzel. . ."

Leeland nodded again. "A very nice name." She glanced at the Joker. "Is he the father?"

"Sadly," Ivy replied, butting in for Harley. She shot a glare at the Joker, who retaliated by sticking out his tongue.

The doctor scribbled something down. In a small voice, Harley whispered "Are you takin' my baby away?"

"Well. . ." she sighed. "Yes. . Harley. We'll have her in the care of a family. The better you are here, the more visitations we'll let your daughter have. It will start out once a month, but perhaps will increase. But the more trouble you both cause, the less you'll see her. "

Harley wailed loudly. Ivy rolled her eyes at Leeland, "It's not like Harley did anything wrong. She doesn't fully deserve to be back here."

"She's still not fully sane enough yet. She'll have to remain here until we all think she's ready. . .and Joker will definitely be here longer."

The Joker looked at her with fake hurt. "But I'm an angel!"

Rolling her eyes, Leeland looked back to Harley. "We'll give you a few minutes with her before we take her to Commissioner Gordon." She handed Marionette to Harley before stepping out of the room, looking through the window.

Little Marionette cooed at her mother, reached for her hair. "I.. . I love you s-so much. . ." Harley whispered shakily. "Mommy will always love you. . . I-I wish I didn't have to be here. I don't want you with just a-any family. Me, Daddy, and Auntie Ivy are your true family. . ." She kissed her little head as Marionette made a little squeal. Harley started to bawl all over again. She gave her over to Ivy, who looked almost as sad.

"Always know that the system is fuc-I mean, not good. I'm sure you'll be with your mommy again soon. They can't really keep her here that long. Whenever I'm out too, I'll help you make a little garden or something. Aunt Ivy definitely loves you." She rocked her back and forth a bit before handing her to Joker. Her green eyes held crystal clear tears.

The Joker stared at her, almost like he did before. As Marionette's eyes opened, he noticed they were Harley's. A smile appeared once more for him on her little face, making him laugh.

"I actually agree with Auntie Plantie over there. Our system is fucked up insane. . . but so is your family. If you're with a boring family, just jazz it up. Make a little chaos. We'll probably pick you up whenever we want to break out. I'm sure it'll be a blast."

Marionette smacked at his face, her little hand smeared with white and red makeup. "You already tryin; to beat up the old man, huh? Yeah, I think you'll be like us." He handed her back to Ivy, not looking moved at all.

Ivy and Harley talked to little Nettie until Leeland came back in.

"We'll find her a nice, loving home," she reassured Harley, even though it wasn't what the girl wanted. She took the baby from Ivy, as Harley begam to cry into her best friend's arm.

Dr. Leeland walked out of the room and handed the baby to the Commissioner, who said he'd search for a home.

When she walked back in, she looked sad. "Well, Harley, we're going to have you stay in here for a while. You're still weak from childbirth. Ivy, Ruth will lead you to your cell. I will take you back, Joker." She seemed disapproving of him, which was natural.

As she walked him down the hall, he stated "I have to shit."

Rolling her eyes, she pointed him to the bathroom. But, in reality, he didn't have to shit. He just felt one of those ungodly tears threatening to go down his cheek.

* * *

 **I kind of hate myself for writing this, but it just seemed necessary. We'll see a lot more of Marionette. a lot of visits to ensue. xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back and very sorry about that last chapter. It just felt more plausible for that to happy. But, of course, some kind of joy will probably happen later on. Give me some of your opinions on what you think (or want) to happen! Have a great day/night xx**

* * *

Commissioner James Gordon had no idea what the hell to do with the baby of the Joker and Harley Quinn. Sitting in his office, he thought over how crazy a person would have to be to want her. Little Marionette was at the hospital waiting for her new parents. But it was going to be a struggle.

Rubbing his temples, he thought about the kid. She was little and cute. If she was an ordinary baby, it'd be easier to find a family. But the baby of two psychopaths? Almost impossible. Having to take her to Arkham for visitation? Even worse.

James knew for his own self that he would not be the one to do the job. He would not let his daughter Barbara even think twice about it. Considering how much the Joker despised the law, it was too dangerous. Besides, who knew how this kid was going to be? She could be a terror for all he knew.

He thought about all of the people he knew. The police force themselves refused politely, yet sternly. Many of his friends proved too old or had enough kids. That's when one certain person came to his mind. A man with no children and was still young. Grabbing his coat, James was out the door.

He had to talk with Bruce Wayne.

Meanwhile, Bruce had just taken off his Batman costume, showered, and sat on his couch to relax. The whole night proved stranger than normal. Seeing the Joker and Harley Quinn as parents almost shocked him. Though knowing the two belonged there, Bruce partially wished he didn't let them in Arkham. After seeing how attached Harley was to her baby almost broke the brooding man's heart. Now the young lady and her child were torn apart, no clue on how their relationship will ever be.

Just as he was about to get a drink, Bruce heard the doorbell. Alfred then walked over with Commissioner Gordon. Knowing for a fact that earlier would be involved, Bruce wondered what the question would be.

"Commissioner, you're here awfully late," he remarked, trying to stay collected.

James nodded, looking pretty solemn. "Yes. It was a very rough night. Have you heard yet possibly? The Joker and Harley Quinn had a child."

Though he of course knew, Bruce played dumb. Raising an eyebrow, he looked surprised. "Really? They didn't steal the baby, huh?"

James shook his head, still straight faced. "No. It was clearly just born. Harley was laying down, showing signs of post-labor weakness. It was a girl. Poison Ivy was with them. Now the three are in Arkham. The child is waiting for parents."

Both men sat down, Bruce hoping he would not ask what he was thinking. "Go on. . ."

"So, we're still searching. But I thought I'd come to you. Maybe you'd like to take in a child? You seem like a good fatherly type. And look, you have some help if needed." He nodded towards Alfred. "What do you say, Bruce?" Of course that was the question.

Bruce stared at the older man, thinking. He knew what James meant. How much trouble it was to find her a parent, at least. Though it would take some weight off of his shoulders to know where the child was going, Bruce shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but that's out of the question. I cannot do it."

James's face fell almost instantly. "Why so, Bruce?"

"I, as a matter of fact, am not really the fatherly type. I rather not have a child, but I am sure you'll find her a family, Commissioner." It also wouldn't help that he'd have to take her to see Harley and Joker. Bruce was not going to see that attachment so many more times. It was almost cruel.

James stood up again with a sigh. "Yes, yes, well I better go. Thank you anyways, Bruce."

"Just let me know how everything goes," Bruce nodded.

After he was gone, Bruce looked at Alfred. "Did I make a bad decision, Alfred?"

The old man shook his head. "No, Mr. Wayne. It was a good decision. I should know. I've seen many of your poor ones."

.

James felt pretty defeated. He was going to have to deal with this way too long. He decided that the next day, he'd see if anyone at least showed interest in Marionette. It felt like he'd have to advertise her to the world.

So, the next morning, he drove to see what was going on with her. He walked up to a nurse's desk.

"Anyone come and look at Marionette Quinzel?"

The young woman nodded, smiling softly. "Yes, Commissioner. About eight different families so far. We've got a couple in there now. We've got a social worker around just in case any decide."

"No one so far?" James asked.

"No . . . a lot of them adored her until they heard about her parents. We then started to tell them beforehand. One family nodded and turned right around."

James sighed. "Alright if I go in?"

"Of course."

Walking down the hall to the appropriate room, James heard two people talking and cooing to the baby. When he went in, he saw a middle aged couple. The woman holding the baby looked plain, but smiled to Marionette. Her husband, graying and balding grinned just the same. The smiles faltered a bit when they saw the commissioner.

"Morning there. I'm Commissioner James Gordon," James said, shaking the man's hand. "I just stopped by to see how everything was going."

The woman's eyes lit up again. "Oh, hello, Commissioner. I'm Linda Whitman, and this is my husband Ian."

"Everything is going very well. She's an adorable little baby," Ian added.

James's hopes went up again. "So you're interested in being her new parents, then?"

Linda nodded. "Yes. The nurse told us about her awful parents. If they were smart, they'd have never let themselves be so cruel." Ian put a hand on her shoulder as if to calm her.

A huge grin popped onto the commissioner's face. "That's terrific! Now, before we get anything signed, did they tell you about visitation?"

"Yes, and we hope it's not too often/"

"Probably only once a month."

Ian nodded, tight lipped. "We just hope to save this child. We do not want to have her pulled to the devil's side like her parents."

James nodded. "Of course, of course. If you ever feel the need to, I'm sure after a while you'll be able to push visits further apart. I'll be back with the social worker from the agency." He felt giddy. It hadn't been twenty-four hours and this kid was finally out of his hands,

* * *

 **Okay, so Gordon might seem like an asshole, but that's how I kind of see him. Also, Linda and Ian are based off of real people, but I won't say who. You'll have to guess. Harley and the Joker will be in the next chapter xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**SO SORRY IT HAS BEEN A WHILE! Work has taken over my life. So, now, I bring you a new chapter. Hope you like it!**

* * *

From the moment that her baby was taken from her, Harley seemed to change. Her wails rang through the cells of every patient in Arkham. If anything, it upset Joker way more than anyone thought.

"Come on, Harley. Let's break out of this dump already. Have a little fun on the town," he tried the next day. He had found her sitting with a sad demeanor. Ivy and he were granted time to visit her.

She looked dazed as she shook her head. "No, Puddin'. We can't just leave. They won't let us see little Nettie if we escape." Her blue eyes welled with fresh tears.

The clown rolled his eyes. "Then we'll just kidnap her. It's as easy as pie."

Harley shot up from where she sat, looking angry. "We don't even know where she is! I ain't risking anything no more!" Then she sat to her sobs again.

Frustrated with her screaming at him, it took Joker every bone in his body not to slap her. She was acting foolish.

Before he could say anything, his collar was yanked by Ivy, who gave him a death glare.

"Stop being so foolish and leave her alone. She has her reason to grief. Just because you don't care about getting your daughter back, doesn't mean you have to ruin anything for Harley!" she snapped.

Joker rolled his eyes. Not that he would admit it, but he actually cared a good bit about the situation. It wasn't all about being in Arkham either. For some reason, he felt attached to the baby. Besides, seeing Harley upset over something that wasn't him made him uncomfortable.

But he'd never confess that to anyone. "Can't a guy make things fun?" he replied.

"'Fun' is what got us all into this stupid mess. Face it. If you wouldn't have had to go shoot up a museum when Harley was pregnant, none of us would be here!"

"Or maybe you would have just not come for me?" he answered slowly, knowing Ivy's complaints already. Harley needed him, yada yada yada.

Dr. Leeland stepped in. "Harley, Joker. Come with me." She didn't seem as pissed or stern as she usually did. Harley hoped only for good news.

"Are we gettin' outta here? Are we allowed to leave?" Harley asked in a small voice.

The doctor shook her head as they walked. "No, Harley. We just have someone here who wants to talk to the both of you." She led them to a room where sessions were usually held.

Sitting there was an African American woman with a kind face. She gave a soft smile to them.

Joker scoffed. "What is this? Couples counseling?"

Dr. Leeland ignored the remark. "I'll be in the hall if there is any trouble." Looking at the three one more time, she left.

The woman stood up politely. "I'm Vivien Reid, a social worker and psychologist in Gotham. I was contacted to help with you two and your child."

Harley's eyes widened in despair. "Is this the way they're tellin' us we're never seeing her again?" It sounded as if she was holding back a sob.

Vivien shook her head, helping her to sit down. "Oh, honey, that's not it. I'm just here to make sure her foster family is good. I'll also visit with you two to see how safe I would find you around Marionette."

"We can't be that bad. Harley carried her pretty much to term," Joker smirked. It was true, at least. Marionette could have easily been killed by him.

Vivien only looked slightly horrified. "Well, it is just a standard thing. . ." She reached into her bag for papers. "Marionette was taken in by a couple earlier today. Ian and Linda Whitman."

Harley's lip quivered, but Vivien continued. "They seem very nice, don't worry. Very religious, but I think it will be good for your daughter."

"Oh great. The kid's gonna be throwing bibles at us," Joker whined, crossing his arms. Might as her to Batsy."

Vivien seemed to be hiding a smile. "Now let me look at your records." She flipped through a folder. "Miss Quinzel, you are twenty-eight?"

Harley nodded, eyes glassy. "Uh huh." She didn't even correct her to be called Harley.

"I see you had a doctorate. And you worked here even. Nonetheless, you still seem to be very bright from what's written." Vivien looked sympathetic.

Harley just shrugged in return. An unintelligible mumble came from her lips.

Vivien scrolled through more papers. "Joker . . .nothing very official here. Just a lot about your crimes. Miss Quinzel, there is quite a few of that for you too." Joker gave a proud grin.

"That's a huge problem if you want to get Marionette back. Even if I thought you should have her back, I'd seem hypocritical at the moment. I'm going to have quite a few appointments with you both. Maybe even stop to see your visits with Mar- are you okay, dear?"

Harley was whimpering, looking shakier than ever. Vivien took a tissue from her pocket and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I-I just. . ." Harley blew her nose.

As he looked at her, Joker felt a knot in his stomach. It was stressful to him to see her this way. He just didn't get why. So he didn't move a muscle.

"Stop your blubbering," he told her, no sympathy in his voice.

"Harley, listen, okay? Don't feel frightened over this. I know it hurts, but I'm going to do my best for you. Okay? You'll get a visit from her soon enough," Vivien told her gently. She looked up at the other criminal kindly. "You will too."

He snorted in reply. "A total miracle."

Vivien only nodded slightly. "Today was just for me to let you both know everything that is going on and to be acquainted. I should be back next week about the same time to do more ." She stood up. "It was good meeting you both."

She patted Harley's back. "It'll be okay, dear. I promise." Opening the door, Vivien left and Dr. Leeland returned.

"I hope you both liked her," she said, leading them back to their previous location.

Harley shrugged sadly. "She's okay."

Joker said nothing. He doubted that the woman was going to help them. He wished Harley would grow up and let him go and him go get her his way. If Harley wanted their baby so bad why couldn't he? He didn't even trust those foster parents. . . He wasn't stupid. He heard the stories about sine if those foster families.

"What about you?" He was taken from his thoughts by the doctor. He gave her a look of boredom and lied.

"I couldn't care less about any of this."

 **Looks like sosomeone's a softie! Haha, have a lovely day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm back and things are gonna get intense! This might seem like a filler chapter or kind f lame, but it is just leading up to drama. Again, so sorry.**

 **oh and the Whitmans are loosely based on the Duggars. Something about them always seemed off.**

 **Enjoy!**

Week by week, Vivien would come to talk with Harley and Joker. The more she learned about Harley equaled the little she knew about the Joker. Harley was open to talk and cry, Joker would ignore any question and just fall asleep.

She learned that Harley was an only child to a single father. He was strict, causing a serious environment. Possibly why Harley felt so attracted to the Joker.

Joker told her a different story every day. A different upbringing, a different life.

Harley expressed her fears for Marionette. She hoped her baby was safe. She craved to be a mommy.

The Joker only expressed his need to take a piss. He spoke none of his child. Just spoke of wanting a sandwich.

Harley wanted to be out for her baby.

Joker wanted out to cause mayhem.

But Vivien did not fret. She saw the pain in his eyes at Marionette's name.

.

The first visitation was coming up when Vivien got a call. It was Linda Whitman. Before hellos could be exchanged, the woman began to talk.

"Dr. Reid, Ian and I don't feel comfortable with the visitation. It will only bring dear Mary closer to Satan."

Vivien, ignoring the more saintly name given to the baby, sighed in dismay. "Mrs. Whitman. I can't let you do that. The visitation is Sunday, which is two days away. It is too late notice to cancel." She was slightly lying. It wasn't good to cancel late, but still allowed. She just felt like Harley deserved the reward of seeing Marionette.

"Too late? Are you sure? Even for criminals like them?" the foster mother asked disgustedly. Vivien could just feel the anger through the phone. . . and the crying baby in the background.

Before she could answer, Linda spoke again. "Thank goodness it is on Sunday. We can pray for her soul. And for those Satanists." With that, she hung up.

To herself, Vivien thought about how much luck the two Arkham patients would need with such a religious family

.

The day had finally come and Harley could not stop shaking.

She seemed like a tones down version of her normal self. She was paler and a little thinner. Yet, she bounced around nervously

Ivy was still the only other patient to know of Marionette. If word went around, it could be possible that another could try to ruin her or them.

While Harley was excited and Ivy grinned, Joker didn't say anything. Though he kept track of when the visit would be, he acted like he didn't.

He stood at the mirror in his cell. He almost washed away the paint on his face. He shook his head before he could start. What was the point? He had no one to please.

He thought of brushing his hair better. But he would not do that either. He would rather go commit crimes than have this visitation anyways. She was just a smelly baby anyways.

His baby. Sprouted from his own seed.

The Whitmans were to arrive at 5 p.m. Joker, Harley, and Ivy were all brought to the visitation room, waiting. By 5:15, Harley looked ready to cry. When 5:30 hit, Joker was ready to leave. But as he stood, the Whitmans and guards strolled in with a crying baby, face red.

The foster mother, plain looking with mousy brown curls, stared at them in distraught. Her husband rolled his eyes.

"My baby!" Harley squeaked, jumping up in a flash. The Whitmans stepped back quickly. "Why is she crying? What did ya do to her?" Her blue eyes flashed with anger.

"Dear Lord, nothing at all! She is a baby, she cries quite a lot," the woman, Linda, explained, frowning at the guards as if to say "You trust her with a kid?"

One guard looked at his watch. "They get thirty minutes today. We'll watch from outside."

Joker raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to show he cared, but he blurted out words anyway "I thought we got an hour." Or was that a lie?

"They came late. You get thirty minutes. Complain and it'll be down to fifteen."

Linda handed Marionette to Harley and walked out of the room with the others. Not before saying "Murderous beasts."

 **Linda is interesting, isn't she? But yay, baby Marionette is coming to her parents! See you soon!**


End file.
